Friends, it’s been a little while since my last post and a whirlwind of a couple weeks!
If you are reading again, thank you for continuing to follow along. If you are new, welcome to the conversation! Lets get to it.
A quality life - that should be easy to define right? We all want to live a quality life. What does that mean exactly?
There have been several things covered and thoughts between us over the past 5 months. The journey in life, the ups, the downs, the in-betweens, the decisions we make, the circumstances that come from those decisions, and what we decide to do with them, just to name a few. These decisions, events, and how we react happen each and every day whether we realize it or not. Some decisions alter the course of our life or relationships, whereas others can simply be “do I want salty or sweet tonight?”
A recent interview on The Little Things inspired this topic and the conversations that stem from it. We had the absolute pleasure to have our first guest on the podcast last week. Sean Covel grew up in a tiny town in the Black Hills of South Dakota and after pursuing his dreams, despite several setbacks, ended up producing movies in Hollywood. Among them is the cult classic Napoleon Dynamite, a story of a high school teen trying to find his way. I highly recommend listening to his thoughts on life, growth, and fighting through failures. You can listen to the episode here.
Quality: the standard of something as measured against other things of a similar kind; the degree of excellence of something
When I was looking to connect the dots between the definition of quality and something that Sean said in our interview, which I’ll get to in a minute, something happened. That something reminded me of conversations I’ve had with close friends as well as on Episode 6 of The Little Things. It’s the thought, reminder, our conscious that consistently wants to define quality as compared to something else. It’s right there in the definition above - “as measured against other things of a similar kind”
This is something that has become a mainstay in today’s society. With the increase in access to news, information, and other people in the palm of our hand, comparing ourselves to others has never been easier. It’s not hard to find someone you used to know, look at some pictures, and measure yourself and successes up against each other. Heck, want to see what your old friend from high school is up to? Text them. Pull up Facebook. Or Snapchat them. Or Instagram them. Or digitally “wave” at them. No need to call them on the phone and have a conversation. No need to get off our butt and visit. Physically visit someone we haven’t seen in awhile? Are you nuts Jake?
Lets be clear: social media, or technology in general, has definitely made it easier to follow along and interact with each other. It’s enabled me to visit and have meaningful conversations with you without meeting up for coffee or better yet, HuHot. It’s made it easier to plan parties, get addresses for weddings, and schedule class reunions. However, when we specifically look at the comparison and judgement that comes from technology, it becomes quite scary.
In the world we live in today anxiety and depression is increasing at an alarming rate. Among a variety of other things, a part of that and big concern of mine and others is that we are hyper-connected. We have a hundreds of electronic devices that consume too much of our attention. We communicate through these devices, entertain ourselves through these devices, and work through these devices. We are consistently overstimulated. It’s common, especially among teenagers, to measure self worth based on a number of likes.
Read that last sentence again and deeply think on the impact that can have for a moment
Basing our self worth on likes, or in other words, the approval of someone else? How scary is that?
I often refer to my grandparents and even my parents when thinking about what some of these technologies and connectedness to everyone has done to us. We are growing up in a completely different age, a more complicated time, but to think of how important it seems to have others like us is not something that sets us up great for our own well-being.
Imagine this: you’re sitting in your Grandpa Joe’s living room, on your phone scrolling, and he notices a sad look on your face. “What’s wrong?” he asks. “Well, I posted a picture of myself on Instagram and only got 14 likes. My friend Angela posted one too and got 87 likes. I just want people to think I’m beautiful Grandpa. I try so hard to look pretty and fit in so others will like me, but it feels like hardly anyone does.” I picture Grandpa Joe following up with something along the lines of “WHAT IN TARNATION!” He then gently grabs your hand, looks you in the eye, and explains: “Honey, pictures don’t matter. Likes don’t matter. It doesn’t matter what the outside world thinks. You are you, a unique, charismatic, and incredible individual. You are beautiful. You need to believe in, and love, yourself. That’s all that matters. You will find more joy in loving yourself than anything imaginable. Remember that.”
There are stories like this that happen every single day in different forms for millions of people. Life has become a comparison in so many ways. What others are doing often dictate what we do. What others have in materials or possessions can often dictate that we also want those things.
Which brings me back to something that Sean said during our interview. We asked him “What does it mean to live a good life?” He began to explain that earlier in life he was after what he thought at the time was a quality life - material things, a house on the hill with a white picket fence, good weather, going after things that were purely financially driven. After his journey brought him out to Los Angeles where he produced movies, Sean realized something. Everywhere he looked, people at the top of Hollywood - people with things that would seem like they were living a super quality life (cars, mansions, anything material) weren’t happy. They didn’t have a passionate love for themselves and certainly didn’t have a close-knit group or community to bond with. They didn’t have the deep connections with their family. He then said something that really caught my attention, and was something I had never heard said before.
“I realized that the quality of life is material,
but the quality in life...
that’s people”
I find that statement so powerful. We see and hear the word quality everywhere. We want quality in every aspect of our lives. Sure, it’s nice to have nice things. Do those nice things reciprocate? Do they care for you and your well-being? Do they love you?
In the second part of the definition of quality, it states: the degree of excellence of something.
Make that something you. I’m a firm believer that you need to love and respect yourself first before others. I explained this belief in Why It’s Important To Fill Your Cup First. You are excellent. You are beautiful. You are skilled. You matter. You are loved. Once you take care of you, make sure to surround yourself with people who believe in you, uplift you, truly care for you, and love you. Don’t surround yourself with people for validation, for comparison, for followers. Don’t surround yourself with negativity or worry about the quantity of people or things. It’s not the number of people you have around you, it’s the quality of those people. Including you. It’s the quality in life that matters.
What does a quality life mean to you? In what ways has that shifted over time? Are there certain aspects of your life where you would like to improve the quality? Any thoughts or comments that were sparked from the conversation above?
Don’t be shy! If you find it easier, you can simply fill out the form below and hit Submit. It will get sent directly to me. You can also email me any time at theitsjustjakeblog@gmail.com.
Thank you for your time.
