How Can We Become More Present?
How often do we find ourselves thinking about the past? How often are we off into the clouds daydreaming about the future? What do you mean more present? Like, under the Christmas tree?
I briefly touched on this topic in my last post about how busy life can seem to be, but I wanted to dive in deeper. This is going to be a slightly longer discussion, but I appreciate you taking the time and hope you find it useful! There will be some follow up and as always, I hope to create some meaningful conversations between all of us.
It’s important to enjoy the moment, laugh with your friends, and spend time with your family. It’s good to reminisce at times or talk about the upcoming game on Saturday. But what exactly does “being present” mean? What exactly is the “moment.” Is there a way we can better understand this?
There are daily, almost countless times where these things are identifiable. Is someone fully present scrolling through social media at a family gathering? Is someone fully present lounging on the deck watching the sunset? Is someone fully present at the latest Chris Stapleton concert holding their phone in the air the whole time, trying to get the perfect video? Do we realize that absolutely no one enjoys a grainy, shaky, dark and muffled 42 minute concert story on Snapchat?
I’ve been studying presence, also known as mindfulness, for nearly a full year. It is something that has helped me identify how I spend my time and become more aware of my thoughts, my actions, and my experiences. It takes consistent practice to improve these skills and fully take in any given moment. I have a long ways to go but have thoroughly enjoyed the process and continue to increase my awareness each and every day.
Have any of you heard the saying “your mind may be stealing your time?” I think those words closely identify what most of us get caught doing in our everyday life. We can consistently get lost in our head as our mind “traps” our time. Too often we find ourselves living through memory (past) or in anticipation (future). What do both of these have in common? We are missing right now, the present moment, and we don’t get it back.
The author Eckhart Tolle crafted the idea of this perfectly in his book The Power of Now.
“There was never a time when your life was not now, nor will there ever be.”
Read that a few times and take a minute to absorb it.
What do you think? It seems so simple! “Well duh Jake, of course; wherever we are, is where we are, which is the present time.”
The more I thought about this quote and the deeper I read into Eckhart’s book, the more it became clear what he was explaining. We tend to get so caught up in our head thinking about distant memories, regrets, sadness, good times, and memorable events. We also tend to look towards the future to dream, to worry, to picture the life we want, to see ourselves succeed, and so forth. What we effectively let ourselves do is start to live aggressively through memory or a state in the future. We stay in our mind and out of real life experiences and lose one of life’s most cherished things - time.
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Picture this as an example: You have something very exciting coming up, possibly a wedding or big trip you are going on. You are so excited for the trip and planning for it that it seems to be all you can do or think about. When this is happening you are inadvertently, almost literally wishing away the time between now and the trip. You might waste away 3 months worth of time waiting for your big day. What happens when we are waiting? We are wasting time. We can all relate to being excited about a future event but if we focus too heavily on what’s to come, we miss what’s right in front of us.
If there’s something perhaps we have all learned in life, it’s that time passes whether we like it or not. Time is precious.
What can we do to be more present? What can we do to be more aware of how we are handling our moments? Are there a few action steps we can take to refocus if we continue to wander off?
I’ve found a variety of things that have helped me tremendously in this regard. Everyone’s actions will vary but there are numerous ways to identify areas of improvement. One main thing I’ve found is spending a great deal more of my time out in nature. Hunters, hikers, and bikers can all relate to the clarity of being outdoors. Whether you’re up at sunrise breathing in the cool air waiting for your buck to stroll across the flatland, or navigating the rocky terrain and enjoying the views on the way to a mountain peak, or you’re enjoying the breeze rush by your face as you bike down the road as the day nears sunset. Those moments bring a stillness where you find yourself free of worrying, free of disappointment, and free of what’s to come. There aren’t many distractions or things to divert your attention from what you are experiencing. You are totally there.
There are some things I have utilized to refocus and stuff I want to try yet. Put the phone down. Wake up and get your body moving with a workout. Ask how someone’s doing and listen to them instead of just passing by. Make homemade meals from scratch with your favorite music on. Sit on the ledge of a creek and fully listen to the mountain stream gliding by. Watch the sunset every night with a loved one. Has anyone ever been skydiving? There can’t be much that comes close to a feeling of presence like that. Hey, lets jump out of plane at 18,000 feet and completely free fall towards the Earth for 90 seconds. No distractions, no bitterness towards last Tuesday, no worrying about whether or not The Bachelorette recorded. Just you and the air and thousands of feet of nothing. You literally don’t have a choice other than to be 100% there. I have to try this sometime.
Although the concept seems simple, being present is definitely something that takes work and constant refocusing. The Power of Now quite literally shifted how I viewed my life and enabled me to better understand how to embrace the moment. It gave me guidance and provided tools on how to detach from my mind and live presently. I still go through my notebook for reminders and quotes and if you are reader who wants a challenge and shift in your mindset, I highly recommend it. You can pick it up here.
I would love to hear your thoughts about this topic and how you have tried to be more aware in your lives! Have you decreased your phone usage? Have you taken up meditation? Are you trying to play Chutes and Ladders with your family twice a week or better yet, Candy Land? Shoot me a note at theitsjustjakeblog@gmail.com and let me know what actions you are taking! There has to be a million and three things that can help us become more aware, and I would love to share yours with the community! If you haven’t yet subscribe via email where we will continue to have the deeper conversations.
I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes from the book. If you are struggling to be more present or don’t know where to look to next, this may help. Eckhart breaks down what you can do in the simplest form. I hope to hear from you soon!
“Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally.”
