A few weekends ago a small group of us friends were sitting around a table playing a get-to-know-you game one of us had found. Once a question was asked you had to point to who you thought was the correct answer after 3-2-1!
Who would you want to lead the group if we were stranded on an island? Who is the absolute worst driver? Who would rather die than be proven wrong?
We played for nearly 2 hours and had a ball. There were questions that were answered unanimously, many where answers were scattered, and some that involved a common theme - players picking themselves.
“Whose voice would be the best to replace Siri?” Each of us seemed to be very confident with our answers to that one.
That was one thing that was stood out throughout the night. Everyone that played was extremely confident in their answers. They knew who to point to and would rarely even budge when a counterpoint was brought up. A few of those points started up arguments for their reasoning followed by laughter. “NO WAY” was a phrase used frequently.
Self-confidence is defined as a feeling of trust in one's abilities, qualities, and judgment. I’ve always felt like I understood what it was but when I looked up the definition a word caught me slightly off-guard - trust. Interesting! We often think of our level of trust with others, but how often do we trust ourselves?
Often, I hope. It really got my mind churning. Why does our self-confidence seem to waver so much throughout life? Is it just the decisions and circumstances that cause this? Do we lack confidence when we need it most? It can apply in a variety of ways and often tests us. Think of a new job that you started - how confident were you in your abilities as you learned a new software program, how to organize, or went through sales training? It likely wasn’t too high. Just as anything in life however - the more you practiced, the more confident you became.
I dug up an Ed Mylett quote from the notes in my phone filled with reminders from podcast episodes, books, and videos. Ed is a highly successful businessman with a heart of gold and summed up the belief in himself perfectly.
“Self-confidence is built by keeping the promises you make to yourself!”
Self-Confidence is Self-Trust. It’s the conviction, belief, and faith that you need in yourself to make the most of your life. Why is self-confidence so important? Who is the person you will spend the most time with in your life?
It’s yourself. No matter what - and it always will be.
You need confidence in yourself in order to overcome the immense obstacles that life presents each and every one of us. It’s crucial to believe that no matter the circumstance, mistake, or event that you’ll make it through. Think about this simple truth - every mistake you’ve made, tough time you’ve encountered, all the low’s you’ve experienced in life - you’re still here. You’re battling. You made it through. Every single one!
If that doesn’t give you a boost of confidence then try a few of the things below to instantly increase the belief in yourself.
Work Out - Our bodies are meant to move. Working out increases your mood, physical health, and requires commitment - keeping promises to yourself!
Get Spiritual - However you see fit, find ways to connect to your higher self. Consistency is key. Prayer, journaling, yoga, or meditation are a few examples.
Eliminate Comparing - Comparison is the thief of joy. You are the only you to exist. It doesn’t matter what others are doing or saying.
Set Small Goals - This has been huge for me! Small action steps over time lead to big victories. Break down your long-term goals into monthly/weekly goals and tackle those. Don’t forget to celebrate your wins!
Positive Self-Talk - Another key one. How you think and how you talk to yourself is huge! If a negative thought surfaces, counter it immediately. Examples: “I’ll do better next time” instead of “I’m such a failure.” “I will learn” instead of “I will never understand.”
We all face a variety of difficulties in our lives, and we need the confidence to tackle them head on. Our belief is often high when things are easy. What about when things are tough and aren’t going our way? That’s where confidence is built. Try the new thing, find a solution, and get out of your comfort zone. You naturally build a newfound confidence in your abilities and feel accomplished once you do something you’ve never done. Keep trying these things as the new year progresses and see where they take you!
You build your self-confidence. Take those new year’s resolutions you made and start checking the boxes. Self-confidence brings you closer to your authentic self. You know what you stand for, and the weaknesses you’re aware of don’t alter your self-worth.
Above all, make promises to yourself - and keep them.